Seven Clusters of Emotional Pain:
1) Self-Doubt leading to feelings of inferiority or unworthiness, instead of being confident and positive. These feelings range from minor embarrassment to real humiliation, and they signal that your own self-worth is threatened.
2) Anger - is the heated passion that surges in the face of mistreatment or injustice, or when you don't get your way. Associated with "Anger" are feelings of irritation, bitterness, and resentment.
3) Loneliness- is the feeling that no one cares, that you are separated from someone you love, and that you have been abandoned. Related to "loneliness" are feelings such as alienation, isolation, and the sense of being ignored, rejected, or unloved.
4) Boredom - the idea of the sense of listlessness, dullness, and indifference when you are disinterested in what's going on. Related to "boredom" are frustration, apathy, and discouragement.
5) Worry - When you are worried, you feel vulnerable and unprotected, grieving in advance over the loss of something precious. You are fearful of some threat to your security, or the security of something or someone you hold dear.
6) Guilt - means being at fault in some misdeed, however, "Guilt" as an emotion is that sense of remorse or sorrow at the realization of your wrong behavior.
7) Discontent - is expressed by complaining and griping, it indicates a dissatisfaction with your conditions. When you are discontented, you are restless, uneasy, and alert to the irritants in your situation.
Key Point: I noticed some more generalized expressions of emotional pain that could not connect to any of the seven areas. These were Anxiety (the sense of dread or panic) and Depression (anything from the "blues" to outright despair). These two words seemed to describe a more diffuse and faceless discomfort that did not belong to any of the clusters. They seemed to represent a deeper level of floating distress that had somehow lost contact with its cause. (p.7)
The message in these emotions can range from a mild alert to a serious warning. Each is an interpretation of how circumstances and events affect you. Negative feelings indicate a perceived threat to your own needs and desires, while positive emotions signal that everything seems to be going your way. As you read the message in your emotions, you can trace them to your personal responsibility and determine how to respond effectively.
Your Basic Programming:
What you say to yourself (true or false) is the conscious expression of a complex system of "programming" similar to the programming of a computer. All of your ideas, impressions, experiences, attitudes, information, and observations are filed away in your "memory bank" as a vast library for dealing with life. All this data gives you the unique outlook that makes you think and behave in particular ways people have come to recognize you.
Our interpretations of what is going on around us arise quite consistently from our assumptions, those things we believe to be true about the situation, the relationships, and the circumstances around us. These are what we would call the "facts" as we see them. We assume these "facts" are correct, hence, they are our "assumptions." But if your assumptions are incorrect, you may make a wrong interpretation, develop a wrong attitude, and choose a wrong response.
Looking closely at the diagram, notice that the basis for all our reasoning processes, is a pool of information that makes up our programming. This data bank is everything you have "learned." That does not mean that what you "know" is all accurate. If it makes sense, from your personal viewpoint, it is "true" whether it's accurate information or not.
This programming is your basic idea of reality. It is your encyclopedia of how things really are. From all that information you have come to some conclusions. You have some ideas about the best way to behave in certain situations. You have some ideas about what certain behaviors tell you about others. You have a philosophy of life, though it is probably unwritten, and rather loosely organized. Nevertheless, this is your "wisdom," the general idea you have about the best decision to make, when faced with one.